Lots in Translation

Metamorphosis

From Franz Kafka's 1915 novella Metamorphosis, there are four different English translations of the first sentence. The original text was written in German.

#1: As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
Diction- simplistic,
Syntax-  "As," "awoke," "found himself"
Imagery- uneasy dreams, gigantic insect
Structure- described as the process Gregor went through waking up, no comma between "uneasy dreams"

#2: Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.
Diction- simplistic, no additional descriptive words "changed," interesting to note that the name is Gregory with an added "y"
Syntax- "woke," "to find"
Imagery- uneasy dreams, giant bug
Structure- past tense, described as something that already happened, "woke"
Other- interesting to note that this is the only translation that makes the name "Gregory"

#3. When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.
Diction- straightforward, "transformed"
Syntax- "awoke," "he found"
Imagery- ""enormous bug"
Structure- past tense, described as an action that has already happened, "when Gregor awoke," no comma/break between "morning he"

#4: One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.
Diction- described as if it was a retold action, lots of words
Syntax- "upon awakening," "found himself"
Imagery- "monstrous vermin,"
Structure- choppy, lots of commas and breaks, described as ongoing action "upon awakening from,"

Each translation uses slightly different syntax, punctuation, imagery, and word choice to describe the same action. By shifting around these devices, the meaning of the sentence is altered. If one read the second translation, they would get that a person named Gregory Samsa wasn't sleeping well and awoke due to uneasy dreams to find that he was not human, that he was a very large bug. When I read this sentence, I am not as concerned by the actions. But then I read the fourth sentence, where a person named Gregor (minus a "y") Samsa had agitated dreams (more intense than uneasy) and awoke to find he was a monstrous vermin. The last two words shock the reader and put them in a disturbed mood.

One translation may be better than another simply based on reader/audience preference as well as the preference of the translator. For those who are looking for straightforwardness, the best one to use would be the second one. This one would be preferential because it uses simple words and isn't overly descriptive. If the translator thought the original sentence sounded like it needed to be shocking, then that would be when the fourth translation would be the best. It's ultimately up to personal choice on which one is more effective.

This exercise brings up the fact that English is a really complicated language. We have so many different words that mean the same thing, as well as different ways in which the words can be presented. The way they are ultimately presented alters the tone and the way in which the story unfolds to the reader. The verbs also indicate when the action happens, whether it has already happened or is currently happening, and from what point of view the story is told.